


cherry | dojae

by spiritedaways



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-07-12 12:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritedaways/pseuds/spiritedaways
Summary: Won't you be my cherry now?based off ofcherryby rina sawayama





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> hello~~ back with another dojae fic  
> this fic talks about discussions with sexuality  
> and how it makes one feel!  
> cherry by rina is one of my fav songs and really takes in the  
> atmosphere of struggling with ur sexuality, so i thought i'd put it into perspective  
> \- pls do not repost my works anywhere at all -  
> btw, when it says 'with your boy gaze', i changed the lyrics from girl to boy to make sense lol 
> 
> [tenofnct](https://twitter.com/tenofnct/)

_Hello, can I speak to... Oh, never mind So won't you? Will you be my cherry? So come on talk to me, talk to me Will you, will you be mine?_

Jaehyun sighed as he entered his childhood home, rolling his luggage to the end of the staircase and taking in the sight. It smelt the same as it always did, like lavender mixed with a hint of vanilla. 

“Mom! I’m home.” He yelled.

“I’m in here!” a muffled voice from the kitchen said. He walked in to see his mother making.. whatever it what that she was making. “My son! Come here, don’t be shy.” She enveloped her son in her small arms. 

“Mom, I can’t breathe.”

“I haven’t seen you for months.” She laughed. “How have you been?” She asked once she let go.

“Good. Classes have been stressful, but I’m glad we’re on break now.”

“So am I. That school took you away from me for too long. How are your friends? And Chanri?” Chanri is Jaehyun’s girlfriend. They’ve been together for almost a year, as they met when classes started.

“Taeyong and Ten are good, they flew back to Thailand to meet Ten’s parents. Johnny is in Chicago with Taeil. Yuta and Jungwoo are in Japan. Kun and Winwin are in China to visit Kun’s cousin, Yangyang. And Chanri… she went back home, to Korea. She said she missed her parents.”

“And Kim Doyoung?” Jaehyun furrowed his brows. He honestly forgot about Kim Doyoung. It had been a while since they both left for college, despite attending to the same one. 

“I.. I actually haven’t spoken to him in a while. Maybe he stayed back?” 

“Oh. That’s weird.” His mother turned back to the food on the stove. “You two were always so close.” 

“Yeah.. yeah. We we’re.” Jaehyun came to think of it and they were close. Living across the street from one another could do that to people. He honestly doesn’t know what happened. There wasn’t any bad blood between them. They just fell off. At least that’s what Jaehyun would like to think. “I’m going to shower. Can’t wait to sleep in my own bed again.” He smiled and went to carry his luggage upstairs.

The house phone rang and Ms. Jung lowered the heat on the stove. 

“Hello?” 

“H-Hi, Ms. Jung.”

“Doyoung! Oh, how are you? You doing good? I was just talking about you!”

“U-Um, y-yes, I’m good. And you?”

“I’m doing swell. It’s always good to hear from you.” 

“Y-Yeah, um,” Doyoung said awkwardly. He was twisting the cord of the landline between his fingers. “I was wondering.. c-can I speak to.. oh, never mind.” 

“Wait, did you want to speak to—,” 

“It’s okay, Ms. Jung. My.. my mom is calling me, it was.. it was nice to catch up. Talk to you soon.” 

“H-Hello? Doyoung?” all she heard was the dial tone. “Hm. That’s weird.” She hung up the phone herself. _They were always so close. What changed?_

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Doyoung slammed the phone shut and laid his head back against the wall. “Why did I do that?” He groaned.

“Do what, sweetie?” His mom asked.

“N-Nothing, mom! I’m fine!”

“You are totally not fine.” Jeno said with his arms crossed, staring at his older brother. 

“You shut up, you.” Doyoung sneered at his younger brother. 

“What are you so afraid of? Just talk to him instead of staring at him through your window like you always did when you were in high school, you creep.” 

“I did _not_ do that! And besides, he has a girlfriend.” 

“You’re such a liar. What happened between you two anyway? Did his girlfriend cause that?” 

Doyoung sighed. He wished he had the answer to that question. “I don’t know. Maybe. We grew out of things, I guess.” Doyoung went into his bedroom and looked out his window in his room, which was exactly in front of Jaehyun’s room. “College came and we just went our separate ways.” 

“But you’re both still friends with Taeyong and Ten. Don’t you check up on each other at least?” 

“I ask for Jaehyun all the time, but they always say he’s busy or he’s with his girlfriend. Maybe he just doesn’t want to see me anymore, Jeno. The others who he’s friends with don’t really talk to me.” Doyoung smiled sadly and ruffled his brothers hair. “I understand anyway, maybe he got tired.” 

“If he did then he’s an asshole.” 

“Jeno! Don’t use that kind of language.” Doyoung scolded.

“Whatever.” His brother rolled his eyes and smiled. “I’m going to watch conspiracy theory videos with Jaemin.” 

Doyoung shut his door and watched into Jaehyun’s room. It looked the same from when they left. The Return of the Jedi poster and his Funko Pop figurine collection all in the same places. Doyoung wondered if he still kept up with those things or if he kept it hidden from his new company. 

He sighed and went to his desk, looking at the framed picture of the two of them. Picking it up, he grazed his fingers over him and Jaehyun. It was only a year ago, but so much had changed since then. They went to college and suddenly Chanri was in his life, no more room for Doyoung.

“Doyoung!” He was snapped out his thoughts and almost dropped the picture. He clutched it to his chest, thanking whatever higher power that kept it from breaking. 

“Yeah, mom?” Doyoung yelled.

“Could you pick up some groceries for me? I have a list.” 

“Sure.” Doyoung placed the picture back on his desk and grabbed his oversized hoodie, which happened to be Jaehyun’s. He needed to get out of the house anyway. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
_Down the subway, you looked my way With your boy gaze, with your boy gaze That was the day everything changed Couldn't stay the same_

“Jaehyun?” his mom said when he came back downstairs. “Could you pick up the pizza I ordered?” 

“Let me guess. Your _experiment_ didn't really work out, did it?” He laughed.

“Oh, hush you. You can take my car or yours, your choice.” 

“Nah, there’s too much traffic now. I’ll take the subway.” 

“Alright sweetheart, be safe.” 

Jaehyun grabbed a coat and was out the door. 

On his way out, he glanced towards Doyoung’s house. He thought about he and Doyoung would always argue over which Star Wars movie was the best, Doyoung always saying The Empire Strikes Back and him arguing Return of the Jedi. He sighed and focused on making his way to the station. The walk wasn’t long.

Jaehyun made his way on the metro, making sure it was the correct one. It can get very confusing at times. He held onto a pole to avoid falling, taking his time to check his phone.

**Ten: Taeyong and I miss you! Can’t wait for all of us to come here one day <3**

**Johnny: Chicago is great, missing you, man! Taeil loves deep dish pizza! He can’t wait for you to try it.**

**Kun: Texting you since I don’t have my VPN yet LOL! Winwin and I say Hi!**

**Jungwoo: Sending love from Japan! xoxo [ image attached ]**

**Chanri: just landed , won’t have service soz**

Jaehyun frowned at Chanri’s text. She wasn't the best texted and it wasn’t like they were on bad terms, her texts were just always too blunt. He replied back to all his friends, save Chanri. He didn’t feel like speaking to her for some odd reason. 

Jaehyun slipped his phone back into his pocket since he was nearing his stop soon. When he looked up, he met _his_ gaze. Jaehyun thought he was seeing things, but no, there he was. Kim Doyoung, in the flesh. His mouth fell open and he felt his heartstrings pull. _Should I say hello? He’s looking at me too, right? I kind of miss him._ Before Jaehyun could say anything, Doyoung was out the train when the doors opened. 

“W-Wait, Doyoung!” Jaehyun said before he could stop himself. He ran out the doors, but alas, the crowds were too much. Looking back and forth, he failed to find the boy. Jaehyun groaned and pulled at his hair. _Why am I so caught up about this anyway? It’s just Kim Doyoung. My best friend.. well, ex best friend. Best friends?_ Sighing, he made his way up the steps to pick up the pizza, his thoughts lingering on his Doyoung. He’d go over to his house tomorrow, for sure. Just to catch up. _Just to catch up_ , Jaehyun told himself. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
_Now it's Tuesday and I'm thinking 'Bout to tuck in, 'bout to tuck in Telling myself that it's cheating But it's something else_

“Mom! I’ve got the pizza!” Jaehyun yelled and placed the box on the countertop.

“Great!” She opened the box and took a slice. Jaehyun was too engrossed in his thoughts, he didn’t notice his mom calling him.

“Wh-what?” he said.

“Is something wrong? You seem a little shaken.” 

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“Care to tell me what about?” She placed her slice down, beckoning Jaehyun to sit next to her. 

“You know, the weirdest thing happened. Remember how we were talking about Doyoung? Well, I saw him on the subway.”

“Oh! That’s great. You know he called.”

“He called?!” Jaehyun leapt out of his seat. “When? Where was I? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Jaehyun, calm down.” His mom laughed. “You were in the shower, I forgot to tell you when you came out. He didn’t really say what he was calling for, but I think it was you.”

“Me?” Jaehyun sat back down. _He wanted to speak to me._ “What did he say? You know, like, anything else?”

“We didn’t really speak, Jaehyun. I just asked him how he was doing.”

“And? How is he?”

“He said he was doing good. Why, you wanted to speak to him?” Jaehyun didn’t know himself, but he nodded anyway. “Well, you never know, he might call back.”

“You think so?”

“Sure, it seemed like he didn’t quite know what he wanted to say. Just pick the phone up when it rings.” His mom smiled.

“Will do.” 

“Well, I’m off to bed. Don’t stay up too late.” 

“I won’t, mom, jeez.” Jaehyun playfully rolled his eyes and directed himself to the house phone. _I’ll just watch TV in the meantime. It’s only 10:30. There’s still time to call._

Jaehyun put on Netflix. He browsed through the options and paused when he saw _‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back’_. It was a while since he last watched it, since he always watched it with… Doyoung. They used to do weekly movie nights. It eventually stopped when he started dating Chanri. He always had plans with her instead, ditching movie night to head to the club with her. Jaehyun sighed. Chanri didn’t really like Star Wars anyway. Jaehyun rolled his eyes and clicked play. He would have to see if Doyoung was right about it being the best Star Wars film.

Jaehyun looked at the clock. It was now nearing midnight, and still no call. Twenty minutes later, he heard the phone ring. He paused the movie and ran to the phone.

“Hello?” he asked out of breath.

“Jaehyun? It’s Chanri.” Oh. He thought with disappointment. 

“Oh! H-Hi, how are you?” Jaehyun said awkwardly, as if he wasn’t speaking to his girlfriend.

“Good. How come you didn’t answer my text?” 

“Uh, I didn’t have time to check it, sorry.” He lied.

“Oh, that’s okay. I miss you.” 

“Yeah, me too.” He lied again. “How is Korea?”

“It’s nice. My mom is excited. I’m meeting back with my old friend. You remember Eric, right?” 

“Yeah.” _No._

“We’re going to the cat cafe. You’re not jealous, are you?” Jaehyun pulled back the phone and mouthed ‘What the f—‘, to himself. 

“Uh, no.” He coughed awkwardly. “I don’t control you.” 

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed. “Well, okay. I have to go, he’s picking me up soon.” 

“Okay, bye Chanri.” Jaehyun slammed the phone shut, not giving her a chance to say goodbye. He rubbed his eyes and went back to the sofa to finish the movie. 

Doyoung was right. It is the best Star Wars movie. Jaehyun yawned and shut the TV off. He made his way upstairs to do his night routine. Slipping into his covers, he couldn’t stop thinking of Doyoung. _No, this is wrong. You can’t think of Doyoung in that way. You’re dating Chanri and you’re happy. You’re happy with her._ He knew this was something else. _Am I happy with her? Does she make me happy? What makes me happy_? Jaehyun jolted out of bed upon his realization. Doyoung. Doyoung makes him happy. Or at least he used to. Now Doyoung was just a memory, and why? 

He didn’t have the answer to that. He looked to his Return of the Jedi poster. Doyoung bought it for him even though he firmly believed The Empire Strikes Back was the best Star Wars film. He made sure to purchase him the theatrical poster for that one as well, _‘when you change your mind,’_ Doyoung would tell him. 

Ripping off his blankets, he removed the Return of the Jedi poster from its frame. It was late and he was aware of the noise he was making, but he could care less now. Standing back to admire his work, he smiled. _Doyoung was always right._ Jaehyun thought. _Always._


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of homophobia in this chapter ~~ pls read w caution and reach out if you need help <3

_Even though I'm satisfied_  
_I lead my life within a lie_  
_Holding onto feelings_  
_I'm not used to feeling_  
_'Cause, oh, they make me feel alive_

When Doyoung woke up, he glanced into Jaehyun’s room window. As usual. His brows furrowed as he saw the Return of the Jedi poster become replaced with The Empire Strikes Back. _Maybe he came around,_ Doyoung smiled. He thought back of yesterday on the subway, Jaehyun calling his name. He almost turned around. _Almost._ He didn’t know what he would have said if he did, so he fled. 

Too engrossed in the poster, Doyoung failed to realized Jaehyun exited his bathroom. His eyes widened as they met Jaehyun’s. He squealed and dropped to the floor, his back to the wall. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Doyoung chanted to himself. “Oh my gosh, my life is over, oh my god.”  
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, preparing himself to sneak a glance. _Maybe he left. Maybe he didn’t see me._ Doyoung put his hands on his windowsill and got on his knees. He peeked and lo and behold, Jaehyun was staring back. A smile broke out on his face when he saw Doyoung. Jaehyun threw him a small wave which Doyoung weakly returned. Not being able to take the awkwardness, Doyoung ducked back down and slammed his head against the wall.  
“Ouch.” Doyoung pouted and rubbed his forehead. He crawled on his knees to his bathroom, not daring to stand up again.

Jaehyun laughed when he saw Doyoung’s bathroom door open and close shut. He may have forgotten to pull his curtains. Jaehyun took the time to look into Doyoung’s room. He saw the boys Iron Man collection, filled with his figurines and comics, a Ravenclaw banner, and his bookshelf. Doyoung was always one for getting lost in others worlds. The reminder of Doyoung shot a pain of longing for him.

Sure, Jaehyun was happy. His first year of college was smooth, he had a girlfriend who he liked, his friends were supportive. But something about seeing Doyoung made him change his view. He wasn’t used to… whatever this feeling was. Well, he was. Just not from another man, and especially not Doyoung. His best friend since they were kids. 

Trudging his way downstairs, he walked in the kitchen to see a stack of chocolate pancakes on the counter. That was one thing his mother could make. He smiled as he read the post-it note she left. 

**Good morning, had an emergency at work. See you later <3**

He grabbed the syrup from the cabinet and drowned his pancakes in it. He remembered how Doyoung took his waffles since he didn’t like pancakes. When they had sleepovers, Jaehyun would always make his mom pour the batter into the death star waffle maker. Jaehyun would smile at Doyoung’s excitement. He doesn’t know what Chanri likes. She never says and Jaehyun never asked. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
“What was that loud noise from upstairs?” Doyoung’s mother asked when he came down. 

“I uh.. dropped… my Iron Man figurine. He fell, yeah…” 

“Okay, sweetheart. Here’s some waffles.” She handed him a plate and Doyoung thought of the death star waffles Jaehyun would make him. He smiled sadly at the memory and munched on his waffles. 

“Can you drop me off at the arcade? The one at the 127 mall?” Jeno ran downstairs. 

“The arcade? What is this? The 80s?” Doyoung asked his little brother.

“Shut up! Can you take me or not?” 

“I have to use the car since I’m leaving for work, sorry sweetie.” Jeno pouted and his mother kissed him on the forehead. “You can always play video games on your PS4.” 

“He doesn’t want to play games on his PS4. Because he has a crush!” Doyoung teased.

“Hey! No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do! Why else would you want to go to the arcade? To play PacMan?” Doyoung snorted. “You can play PacMan on your phone now, if you didn’t know.” 

“Whatever the reason may be, I have to leave. No fighting and please, don’t burn the house down.” Ms. Kim swung open the front door and was met by— “Oh! Jaehyun? Is that you?”  
Doyoung heard his mother from the front down and began to shovel his waffles down his throat. He had to abort mission, _now._  
“It’s so lovely to see you, how have you been?” 

“I’ve been good. It’s been a while.” 

“It has, hasn’t it? Oh my, how’s your mother?” 

“She’s good. Where’s your husband?” Ms. Kim didn’t answer and she was glad when Jeno spoke.

They don’t talk about Doyoung’s father. Jaehyun wouldn’t have known, of course. A year can change many things. Seeing this distraction, Doyoung took the chance. He quickly made his way to the stairs before—

“Doyoung!” Jeno yelled. Doyoung sent his younger brother a death glare, who was just smiling evilly. “Don’t you wanna say hello?” 

“He’s right, Doyoung, come say hi!” His mother said happily. Doyoung cursed all the names he could think of and shyly made his way to the front door.

“H-Hi, Jaehyun.” He croaked and avoided eye contact. 

“Hi, Doyoung.” Jaehyun responded. 

“Well, I’ll leave you boys to it. I’ve gotta get to work, it was nice seeing you Jaehyun.” Ms. Kim smiled one last time before she was off. Doyoung watched her drive off and slowly made his way back inside.

“I-It was n-nice s-seeing you, Jaehyun. But Jeno and I’ve got a very busy day and all, so if you don’t mind—,” 

“We’re not busy, stop lying!” Doyoung wished he could shove Jeno’s face down a blender. “We can’t go to the arcade because Mom took the car and the subway is too packed right now.”  
Doyoung grimaced and turned red, caught in his lie.

“If you want, I could take you.” Jaehyun offered. “I have my own car, I could drive you two.” 

“Really? Awesome, Doyoung go get ready!” Doyoung smiled awkwardly and opened the door wider to let Jaehyun in. He slipped off his shoes and walked with Doyoung to the living room.

“You can wait here. Or anywhere. You probably know this house better than I do.” Doyoung played with his fingers, standing in front of Jaehyun. “So, yeah, I’ll go change.” 

“I kind of like what you’re wearing now.” Jaehyun laughed. Doyoung didn’t know what he meant until he looked down at his outfit. He was still wearing his pajama which consisted of a pair of puppy shorts and his Princess Leia sleeping top. He flushed red. 

“I-I have better things, trust me.” Doyoung laughed and ran upstairs to save himself. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Doyoung was muttering to himself. 

“Yeah, you are stupid.” Jeno said from his room.

“You little—,” 

“Mom said no fighting!” Jeno told him and he was right. Doyoung obeyed his mother, even if he was grown up now. Doyoung stuck his tongue out at his brother, not caring how childish it seemed. He shut his room door and went into his closet to find something to wear. He settled on a Wonder Woman shirt with slight black ripped jeans. 

When he made his way downstairs, Jeno was already there chatting with Jaehyun.

“You ready?” Jaehyun asked and Doyoung nodded. “Great. We can walk across to my house and I’ll just get my keys.”  
Doyoung made sure to grab his own house keys and lock the door.  
“You look nice, Doyoung.” Jaehyun told him when they crossed the street.

“Th-thanks.” Doyoung flushed. 

The car ride was awkward, with Doyoung scooting as close to the edge of the car chair as possible, the faint music coming from the radio, and Jeno’s keypad making small noises indicating he was typing. 

As soon as Jaehyun parked the car, Jeno ran the to entrance of the mall.

“Be careful!” Doyoung shouted, but sighed as his brother was already off. This left him to bask in the awkwardness all alone with Jaehyun. 

“Soooo…” Jaehyun dragged. “How have you been?”

Doyoung wished he had a hoodie or a sweater to cover his hands, suddenly feeling exposed. 

“I’ve been good. College was good, y’know? And you?”

“Good, good. College was good too, didn’t fail any classes.” 

“That’s nice.” Jaehyun opened the door to enter the mall and beckoned Doyoung to go first. “So, how is everyone? I know Taeyong and Ten are in Thailand. But your other friends? And your girlfriend?”

Jaehyun forgot he had a girlfriend for a second, being near Doyoung was making him forget a lot of things. He felt more alive when he was with him, like he didn’t have to hold not to anything. He missed that feeling. 

“Oh, um, she’s fine. She’s in Korea, visiting her parents and all.” Jaehyun shoved his hands in his pocket. “And you? Do you have a… girlfriend?” 

Doyoung laughed softly. He forgot he and Jaehyun weren’t technically friends anymore when he came out, so of course he didn’t know. “Um, no. And if I did have someone, it’d be a boyfriend.” 

Jaehyun’s mouth slowly turned into what resembled a letter ‘O’.  
“Oh.. oh.. OH! Oh, oh, wow, um, cool, cool,” Jaehyun said. “That’s… that’s great man. Love who you love.”  
Doyoung couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Jaehyun’s words, who just pouted. “I’m sorry,” He said in-between giggles. “You’re just too sweet, Jaehyun.” Once Doyoung calmed down he spoke again. “Gosh, that was good. You know you can say it. I’m gay, I’m meaning, me, Doyoung.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Jaehyun was used to being around other gay people, of course. Hell, as his friends were gay or bisexual, save for himself. “I just… didn’t expect it.” 

“Yeah.” Doyoung sighed. He and Jaehyun sat down at a secluded dining area, away from the bustle of the crowds. “Neither did my dad.” Doyoung let the ball drop. Jaehyun turned pale. “It was… hard, y’know? Someone who you love and admire throws it all away because you don’t… like girls in that way.” Jaehyun suddenly felt guilt that he wasn’t there for that part of Doyoung’s life. “I told him over Thanksgiving break. He hasn’t been home since.” Doyoung felt like crying, but held it back. He was over it by now. At least he should be. “We don’t know where he went. After I told him, he just… left. He packed a bag and left.”

“Doyoung, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” 

“It’s okay, Jaehyun.” Doyoung smiled sadly. “It’s hard, but I feel more… free? Yeah, free. That’s the word. I was tired of living my life through a lie. Mom and Jeno were okay with it, of course. Mom always had a feeling I never liked girls.” Because of you. “Mom cried when Dad left though. I didn’t know how to fix it, if I could ever fix it. I shut myself off.” Doyoung admitted. “I went back to school and avoided all of Jeno’s and Mom’s text messages and calls, because it was… it is my fault he’s gone. I had to tell someone so I told Ten. I asked him not to tell anyone and I’m glad he didn’t. I didn’t get my wake-up call until Christmas break. I was supposed to go home, but I didn't want to face them. Jeno showed up at my dorm, shivering with cold fingers. He told me he missed me. He missed having a brother and he didn’t blame me for doing what I did. After that, I went home. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I actually reached. So, yeah. I’ve been happier since I told them. I wish it didn’t go that way, but I’m just glad I don’t have to hide anymore.”

All that stuck to Jaehyun was that he blamed himself for his father’s vanishing. Christmas break wasn’t even that long ago, only being about four months since then. Jaehyun could only imagine how Doyoung felt. “Well, I’m happy for you. I’m glad you feel better.” Jaehyun smiled softly. “If you ever need to talk, you have my number.” _It wasn’t your fault,_ Jaehyun wanted to say. But he didn’t say anything. He kept it to himself. What would Doyoung have said if Jaehyun spoke up? 

Doyoung smiled. “Thank you, Jaehyun. And if you need someone, I’ll be there.” Doyoung’s phone began to ring as he said that. It popped up with a picture of Jeno, telling Doyoung he was ready to leave. 

“He’s ready?” Jaehyun asked. “That fast?”

“I guess so? He didn’t say anything much.” Doyoung and Jaehyun walked back to the arcade, Jaehyun feeling butterflies every time his shoulders brushed against Doyoung’s. 

“Hey guys!” It was Jeno. “Renjun’s shift it over.” He pointed to a small boy with black hair. “I was wondering if you could take us to the movies.”  
How Doyoung picked Renjun up so fast was an anomaly, but that didn’t seem to matter.

“Uh, sure. What’re watching?” Jaehyun said as they made their way out the mall and to his car. 

“We don’t know yet, maybe Spider-Man.”

“That’s a decent choice.” Doyoung said. “I won’t give any spoilers, but just know I didn’t like how they incorporated the use of Tony’s character development. The villain always has an unnecessary problem with Tony. Like, sorry? He saved the world just for you to—oh, sorry.” Doyoung turned red. He was rambling. “I’m just—,”

“Very passionate about Tony Stark.” Jaehyun finished with a smile on his face. “I remember.” As they settled in the car, Doyoung felt more comfortable this time around. He let himself sit closer to Jaehyun and smiled at the chatter of Jeno and Renjun in the backseat. 

“Be safe and text me when the movie is over. Actually text me every hour and turn on your location, if you go somewhere else afterwards, tell me!” Doyoung told his brother when they pulled up to the theatre.  
“Gosh, okay, Doyoung!” Jeno was red. “Can we go now? Please?” He squeaked. 

Doyoung huffed. “Fine. Text me!” He yelled from inside the car and watched as the two headed inside the theater. He sighed and leaned back against the chair. 

“You okay?” Jaehyun asked.

“I’m fine. I know he’s growing and all and he should have his freedom, but I just worry.” 

“He’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Jaehyun pulled off and drove back to their neighborhood. “Is.. is there anything you wanted to do? Like anything else?” 

“We can… we can do movie night? It is Friday after all.” Doyoung said shyly. 

“I’d love to.” Jaehyun smiled, his insides feeling giddy. This was gonna be a great Friday after all.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Doyoung changed into something comfy, resorting to Jaehyun’s hoodie and a pair of dinosaur bottoms. He made sure to pop popcorn and add extra butter, just the way Jaehyun liked it. Jaehyun ran over to his own house to grab some snacks he had and extra movies. 

Doyoung set up the living room just as he did when they were in high school. He smiled at the thought or how he could get back into the same routine with Jaehyun despite the initial awkwardness. 

He heard a knock on the door and welcomed Jaehyun in, who was also changed. 

“Gryffindor?” Doyoung asked, looking at his shirt. “I pegged you more for a Slytherin.” 

“What? How?” Jaehyun asked as he walked into the living room. “Do I seem cunning to you?” 

“No, but you’re a person who does whatever it takes to get something done.” Doyoung giggled. “So, Prisoner of Azkaban or Big Hero 6?” Doyoung held up the DVDs. Jaehyun pointed to Big Hero 6 and Doyoung smiled as he put it in the DVD player.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
“No way, Jaehyun, Batman is smart too, but Tony Stark is just… smarter.” 

“Okay, but Batman almost killed Superman.” 

“Jaehyun, that movie isn’t even good enough canon material. Tony Stark created a machine which sent them back in _time._ ” 

“Alright, alright, you win.” Jaehyun playfully rolled his eyes and smiled when he handed Doyoung the last cherry flavored pastry. 

Doyoung ate the pastry as the sat in comfortable silence. Jaehyun was enjoying his time with Doyoung so much, that he forgot to check his phone. Taking the time to do so, he read his messages.

**Johnny: Hey, how are you? Is everything okay at home? Call me.**

**Ten: Have you been talking to Doyoung? He misses you, you know? Treat him well.**

**Winwin: Kun says Hi and to make sure to drink lots of water. Be safe!**

**Chanri: My evening with Eric was nice.**

**Yuta: Jungwoo and I are brining you back some Japanese sweets! <3 Maybe you could share them with Chanri!!**

Jaehyun marked all his message’s as read, but took the time to text back Ten. 

**Jaehyun: Yeah, I just came over to his house today to say hello. We ended up spending the day together. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.**

The reply was almost instant. 

**Ten: That’s nice. How’s Chanri?**

Jaehyun resisted the urge to groan, not wanting to alarm Doyoung.

**Jaehyun: IDK, she went out on a date with some guy name Eric.**

**Ten: A date? Isn’t that concerning?**

**Jaehyun: I guess so. We are… together after all.**

**Ten: I don’t mean to be this blunt over text, but do you even like her, Jaehyunnie?**

He paused as he read the message over and over. Did he like Chanri? She was cool, pretty decent looking, made his teachers happy. But did she make him happy? 

“Is this a one-time thing?” Doyoung spoke up, breaking the silence and carrying Jaehyun from his thoughts. 

“Is what a one-time thing?” Jaehyun pocketed his phone, not knowing how to answer Ten yet. 

“ _This,_ ” Doyoung emphasized with a wave of his hand. “The whole movie night.” 

“What? No. No way, Doie.” Jaehyun moved to sit next to Doyoung on the couch. He hadn’t called Doyoung ‘Doie’ in… well forever. “I’d like for us to.. rekindle this summer so to say. How would you feel about that?”

“I’d.. I’d like that.” Doyoung said. “But what about when summer is over. And we go back to school and… and you go back to your girlfriend.”  
Jaehyun hadn’t thought about that. What would happen? He knew he wanted to stay in contact with Doyoung no matter what. He let him go once and he wouldn’t do it again.  
“Jaehyun, I don’t want any false hope.” Doyoung said bluntly. “I knew when you got a girlfriend I wasn’t going to be your first priority anymore and I was okay with that. But I don’t want to let you back into my life only to have you leave again.” 

Jaehyun was taken aback. He didn’t realize that was how Doyoung felt and once he thought about it, it was partially his fault their lifetime bond was broken.

_“Are we still on for movie night tonight?”_  
_“Sorry, Doyoung. Chanri wanted to go to the club.”_  
_“Oh, well maybe next week.”_

_“Do you want to go to the Star Wars convention with me next weekend? I have two tickets.”_  
_“Ah man, I really want to but I have to go to a dinner with Chanri and her friends.”_  
_“Oh, that’s okay.” Doyoung attended the convention with Jeno. He was happy to not be alone, but he wished he had someone to freak out about the double-edged lightsaber with._

_“You wanna watch Spirited Away together? Our theater is doing a special screening!”_  
_“I already promised Chanri I’d go to the beach with her. Sorry.”_  
_“Oh, no problem.” Doyoung went alone and cried. Partially from the movie and partially from the fact that he was losing his best friend._

_Doyoung stopped asking Jaehyun if he wanted to hang out with him since he always knew he had plans with Chanri. He eventually started attending his events with Taeyong and Ten who grew a liking to his favorite things, but not to the extent of how he and Jaehyun would enjoy things. Doyoung would still ask how he was doing and made sure Ten would update him on his health. Was he sleeping well? Did he eat enough? Remember to tell Chanri that he can’t drink after 10:00 or he gets stomach pains. He prefers Advil to Tylenol._

“I think its best if you go, Jaehyun.” Doyoung said sadly. 

“Wait, Doyoung—,”

“Please. I can tell you’re not in the right place right now. I can always tell. Get yourself sorted and come back to me. I’ll always be here.” Doyoung smiled and placed his hand over Jaehyun’s. Doyoung walked Jaehyun home and squeezed his hand before walking back to his own house. Jaehyun made sure he was safe before making his way upstairs. Doyoung was always too nice for his own good.

Brushing his teeth and washing his face, he slipped under the covers. Doyoung was right. He wasn’t in a good place. His emotions were everywhere and he didn’t know what he was feeling. He wasn’t used to it. His palms got sweaty, his heart beat faster, and he had the urge to kiss Doyoung. 

His best friend.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Cherry](https://music.apple.com/us/album/cherry/1420960084?i=1420960439) kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg last chapter~~  
> thank you all so much for the support  
> i appreciate it very much  
> did everyone hear about SuperM? i'm excited and i can't  
> wait to see taeyong and ten take the stage together again!!
> 
> [tenofnct](https://twitter.com/tenofnct/)

_When they tell you that you've got to stay the same_  
_Even though you're not yourself_  
_And you've got somebody else_  
_When they tell you that you've got yourself to blame_  
_Even though it's not your fault_  
_But your heart just wants to know, know_

Jaehyun avoided any physical contact with Doyoung, but he still waved to him from his window every chance he got. He needed time to get his head straight. It had been a couple of weeks since that day. Everything was stressing him out, his video calls with Chanri were shortened due to him getting frustrated, his lingering thoughts of Doyoung and his distance from the boy weren't helping either. 

He had to tell someone, so who called the only person he could think of. Ten.

“Pick up, pick up,” Jaehyun bit his lip as the FaceTime call was ringing and he saw up when it said ‘Connecting…’ 

“Jaehyunnie,” Ten said in an airy voice. “How is my favorite boy? Besides Taeyong, of course.” 

“Not well.” 

“And why is that?” 

“Doyoung.” 

“Elaborate.” 

Jaehyun flopped his head down on his desk, emitting a loud sound. “Doyoung has been haunting my thoughts since the first day here, Tennie, and I don’t know what to do.” Jaehyun pouted.

Ten laughed. “I knew this would happen, you owe me $30 Taeyong.” 

“What?!” Jaehyun shrieked. “You bet on me?” 

“Jaehyun, we all did. But thats besides the point, how is Doyoung making you feel.” 

Jaehyun bit his lip, which was turning slightly red. “He makes me feel… he makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach. You know that feeling when you’re about to drop on a roller coaster and you want have that rush forever? That’s how he makes me feel.” 

“Jaehyun. That’s how Taeyong makes me feel.” Jaehyun’s eyes widened. 

“You.. you think I’m—,”

“Gay? Maybe. Or bisexual. Have you ever thought about it?”  
Jaehyun pondered on it. Did he think about it? He always imagined being with a woman and having kids, but that’s what everyone told him to do. Find a nice girl, settle down, have a 9-5 job, have 2 kids by 30, and grow old together. 

“I…I’ve always thought people were attractive you know? Like you and Taeyong and Chris Hemsworth,” Ten laughed. “But I don’t think I’ve ever thought about being with another guy… until now. Because of Doyoung. Does that make me a bad person?” Jaehyun felt like crying.

“What? Jaehyunnie, no, no, not at all. It takes.. a lot of time to figure out who you really are. It took me my whole childhood to come to terms with who I am. Mom was accepting of me and I thank her everyday for it. That’s not how life is always going to be, Hyunnie, but it’s better than hiding who you are.” 

“I don’t feel like myself anymore, Tennie.”

“I understand. It isn’t your fault you’ve been fed with one thing your whole life. At least you understand where your heart is. Do you like Doyoung?” 

“I.. Yes. I do. I want to hold his hand, and his him, and kiss him, and watch Star Wars with him, and play board games.”

“I think that’s called a crush, Jaehyunnie.” Ten giggled. “And you have a big fat one on Doyoung.”  
Jaehyun let out a breath and smiled. He looked up to his ceiling, feeling his eyes well up with tears.  
“Jaehyun? Are you okay?” Ten asked, concerned. 

“I-I’m fine,” Jaehyun stuttered. “It’s just, I feel like how Doyoung did when he told his family. I think I’ve always liked him Tennie, I just didn’t know what those feelings were until now. And I pushed him away, for Chanri. For someone who never made me feel the way he made me feel. I mean, I liked her. At first, you know? She was nice, and pretty, and stable. But that’s all she is.” 

“Oh, Jaehyun,” Ten said. “That’s okay, you didn’t know what those feelings were yet. You pushed it away since they were foreign. I know, I’ve been there.” Ten smiled sadly. He wished he could hug his friend. 

“How will I know? Like for sure? 100%, Tennie?” 

Ten sighed and contemplated his answer. “You can… you can confess.” Ten knew that Doyoung felt the same, he always had. Ten was the first and only person Doyoung told about his crush on Jaehyun. He wasn’t going to tell Jaehyun, though, he needed to hear it from Doyoung himself. It wasn’t his place to say. “Or you can ask him how he feels? But, you have to tell Chanri that you never loved her in that way.” 

Jaehyun sighed. “I know. I will right after this. I can’t live a lie anymore, it’s too much.” Ten was proud of his friend. “So, what does this make me?” 

“Well, my friend, I think it’s safe to say that you’re bisexual.” Ten smiled. 

“Bi? That has a nice ring to it.” Jaehyun laughed along with Ten. “Thank you, Ten.” Jaehyun said once their laughing session was over. 

“You’re always welcome, Hyunnie.” Ten kissed two of his fingers and pressed it to the camera and hung up the call. Jaehyun sighed and opened his recents. He clicked on Chanri’s name and let the phone ring. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
“When did you realize?” 

“When I came home. I saw him on the train.” 

“I’m happy for you.” She said after 2 minutes of silence. 

“W-What?”

“I’m happy for you, Jaehyun.” She said quietly. “You always looked for him. You never deleted him from your favorite contacts. His pictures were still in your phone. You always used Ten’s phone to check his Instagram and Snapchat. You may have left him, but you never truly left him.” 

“Did I?” Jaehyun didn’t notice. Doyoung was just always there. The picture of them two during their vacation to Florida, in front of the castle. That was before their summer ended. Jaehyun never deleted them because Doyoung was his best friend… or maybe he was his crush and he just didn’t know it at the time. 

“You did, Jaehyun. And that’s okay. You can be free now.” 

_I can be free now._ “I can be free now. Thank you, Chanri.” He sniffled. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault. Your heart just wants to know, Jaehyun. So let it know.” 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
_With one look you take me back to everything I used to be_  
_When everyone was seventeen with no ID, no ID_  
_Now I wanna love myself, there’s nothin’ else that’s guaranteed_  
_'Cause inside I'm still the same me with no ID, no ID_  
_Won't you be my cherry now?_

Jaehyun knocked on Doyoung’s door. 

“Oh, Jaehyun! Long time no see! How are you?” Jeno asked.

“I’ve been better, but that isn’t for now. And you?” 

“Great! Renjun agreed to going on our fourth date, Jaehyun!”  
Jaehyun ruffled his hair. “That’s great, bud. Is Doyoung here, by the way?” 

“Yeah, you can knock on his door, he’s probably listening to Lana Del Rey or something.” Jeno snorted and allowed Jaehyun inside. He slipped off his shoes as Jeno went back to the sofa to play his video games. Jaehyun made his way up the steps, softly, incase Doyoung knew he was here. 

He took a deep breath and knock on his door. He heard Young & Beautiful pause.  
“Doyoung? It’s me, Jaehyun.” Sounds of feet hit the floor and the door opened to a red-eyed Doyoung.  
“Are you okay?” 

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine, just allergies.” Doyoung lied and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“Oh.” Jaehyun said dumbly. “Are.. Are you doing anything right now?”

“Uhh, no.” 

“Great. Uhm, do you wanna.. do you wanna go somewhere?”

“Where?” Doyoung asked.

“I don’t know. Just.. anywhere.” 

Doyoung stared at him. “Okay. Alright. Let me just tell my mom. Then we can go.” 

“Cool.” Jaehyun said. He let Doyoung close his room door and he made his way downstairs. “Hey, I’m, uh, going out with Doyoung.” Jaehyun told Jeno when he reached. “So text him if anything.”

“Hmm, alright. Be safe in whatever you’re doing.” Jaehyun blushed at his words and muttered a small ‘thanks.’ 

“I’m ready.” Doyoung said as he came downstairs.

“Great. Bye Jeno!” Jaehyun called.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” Doyoung said seriously. “You have an emergency, you call mom, got it?” 

“Yes, I got it. Now, go!” 

Jaehyun unlocked the car and waited until Doyoung was inside to start the engine. Jaehyun drove and drove. When he drove past the city limits, that’s when Doyoung spoke up.

“Jaehyun?” He spoke quietly. Jaehyun hummed in response. “Where are we going?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Why are we going?”

Jaehyun collected his thoughts. “I realized something. And I wanted to share it with you.” 

“You couldn’t have have done it home?” Doyoung laughed.

“No. I want us to be alone together.” Doyoung quieted at that. Alone together. How contradicting. 

“Okay.” was all Doyoung replied with. He laid his head against the window and watched the trees blur together. It was getting dark soon, so Doyoung let his eyes close to the quietness if the car. 

When Doyoung opened his eyes, it was dark by now. The road was empty and they seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. 

“You okay?” Jaehyun asked when he saw Doyoung awaken.

“I’m good. And you?” 

“Fine.” Jaehyun replied shortly. Jaehyun slowed the car down and put it in park. Doyoung got out and his mouth dropped. They were on a hill, far up, overlooking the city. The moon was bright and the stars shone, displaying Doyoung’s beautiful bare face.

“Oh my, Jaehyun,” Doyoung gasped and walked closer to edge, which concerned Jaehyun. He automatically put his hand on the small of Doyoung’s back, who didn’t seem to notice. He was too enamored by what he was seeing. “This is beautiful. I’ve lived here my whole life and I didn’t know this existed.” 

“I’ve only been here once.” Jaehyun told him. “I somehow remembered it.”

“Repressed memories.” Doyoung responded, his eyes glazing over the city. Jaehyun gently brought Doyoung back to the car, which had a blanket placed over the hood. 

“Lay with me.” Jaehyun said. He got on first and placed his hand in Doyoung’s as he helped him onto the hood. He laid back, keeping his distance from Jaehyun. It was mostly quiet, only the sounds of cicadas and the rustle of the wind playing by once in a while. 

“Why did you bring us here?” Doyoung asked looking up at the stars.  
It took a while before Jaehyun replied. Jaehyun turned on his side to look at Doyoung, who got the memo and turned on his side as well. 

Jaehyun’s mind raced with memories of when they were young. Buying popsicles from the gas station on hot summer days. Singing in the rain. Going to the lake after school to feed the ducks. Watching Star Wars. With one look, Doyoung managed to take him back to the way everything used to be. Young and, dare he say, in love. No care in the world, just the two of them. He scooted closer to Doyoung, their noses touching. 

“I broke up with Chanri.” 

“Oh, _oh,_ Jaehyun, I’m so sorry,” Doyoung said sadly. He may have been in love with him, but that didn’t change the fact he was sorry for his friend. 

“It’s because of you.”  
Doyoung was taken aback.

“Excuse me?” he whispered. 

“You, Doyoung. It was you. It always has been you. It always will be you.” Jaehyun traced his fingers over Doyoung’s face. 

“Do you mean—,”

“Yes. I like you. I think I might love you.” Jaehyun confessed. “I didn’t know I felt this way until the day on the train. I lost you once and I refuse to do so again. You take me back to when we were young. Ten helped me through my.. crisis, if that’s what we wanna call it. I’m still the same me, just with love for you.” 

“Jaehyun..” Doyoung grabbed Jaehyun’s hand in his own. “I knew I was in love with you during our senior year, but I never said anything. It would’ve ruined our friendship and I didn’t want to lose you, but I did. I did, Jaehyun.” Doyoung let his tears shed. 

“It’s because of me, Doyoung.” Jaehyun wiped his tears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Even when you weren’t there, you still managed a way in my life. You make me better. You make me feel happy and _alive._ ” 

“I thought you got tired of me.” 

“I could never get tired of you. You give my life color that I was in need of. You make everything worth it, Doie.” 

“Do you mean that?” 

“I do.” 

“Pinky promise?” Doyoung held out his pinky and Jaehyun smiled as he linked his with Doyoung’s.

“Pinky promise.” He confirmed. “Doyoung?” Jaehyun asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “May I kiss you?” 

“Please.” Jaehyun slowly placed his lips on Doyoung’s. Just lip to lip, but it was the best thing Jaehyun did in his entire life. Not wanting to part so fast, Jaehyun tugged Doyoung closer to deepen the kiss. They didn’t know how much time had passed until they pulled back and Doyoung’s stomach rumbled.  
“Whoops. I forgot to eat before I left.” 

“Hold on.” Jaehyun got up and went into the car. He came back with a bag of sandwiches, drinks, and a bag of cherries. “Here.” Jaehyun handed him the sandwich and they ate happily together, watching the stars. 

The two shared the bag of cherries back and forth until it was finished. 

“Hey Doyoung,” Jaehyun said softly. “I love you.” 

“I know.” Doyoung replied and happily kissed his boyfriend’s cherry flavored lips under the pearly moonlight, allowing the stars to bind their fates as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for reading! i personally loved writing this<3 [tenofnct](https://twitter.com/tenofnct)

**Author's Note:**

> [tenofnct](https://twitter.com/tenofnct/)


End file.
